dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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