You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
