Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
