I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
