"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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