I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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