Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
