There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
