He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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