Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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