Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
