I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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