So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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