mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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