I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Are we still banned from the library?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
