Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
