I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
