just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
