My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize