belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize