WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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