they need to just BURY HIM!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
