i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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