So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
