This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize