So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My ass is underappreciated
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
