quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
