I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
