did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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