You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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