dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
