Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
