we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
