I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize