so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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