I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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