i would punch a child for taco bell
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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