Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
