Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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