Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
