I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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