Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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