I want to walk on stilts...naked
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
