I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
