If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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