But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
