Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i think my cat just said my name.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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