The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
