Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
