I hate all girls vehemently.
i just had sex bonerless
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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