Are we in a gay sports bar?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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