I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
