APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
