Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
