Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize