Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
