I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize