Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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