Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Nicole vs. Life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
