Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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