and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
