YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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