we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
