The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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