Do you still have your period?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
